One For Me and Two For You

As a parent, when I allow one child to purchase a toy, the other must be allowed as well. It is both equality and justice. My children haven't really gave thought to the equality of how much each toy costs, but they stand up to the balance of justice in having the permission to choose a toy based on my approval. When they grow up and understand money, equality of how much they're allowed to spend might play a role on upholding justice. I've realized that equality and justice as important lessons for my children to understand, so I've gathered some notes on the inevitable inequality that I need my children to understand.

1. Inequality of money spent

The amount spent on each will never be equal, but I hope they understand that inequality is inevitable due to inflation, wage increase, and their own wants and efforts. Their education costs will be different. I will be able to afford more if earning more, what majors they choose, and where they are able to attend.

I've set some lines of justice such as paying for all my children's college education, God willing. If one chooses not to attend a higher education, they cannot seek equality nor justice by asking the amount of money I've spent on their siblings for their college education. Reason being that education helps equality to some extent. What they should focus more is on patience and endurance to strive for the best.

...Indeed, I have rewarded them this Day for their patient endurance - that they are the attainers [of success]." 23. Surat Al-Mu'minun (The Believers;111)

2. Inequality of legacy
So far, I have one girl and two boys. Between my daughter and my boys, they will receive different amounts.

Allah instructs you concerning your children: for the male, what is equal to the share of two females. But if there are [only] daughters, two or more, for them is two thirds of one's estate. And if there is only one, for her is half. And for one's parents, to each one of them is a sixth of his estate if he left children. But if he had no children and the parents [alone] inherit from him, then for his mother is one third. And if he had brothers [or sisters], for his mother is a sixth, after any bequest he [may have] made or debt. Your parents or your children - you know not which of them are nearest to you in benefit. [These shares are] an obligation [imposed] by Allah . Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Wise. 4. Surat An-Nisa (The Women; 11)

The amount set is ordinance from Allah and they should accept and not transgress, which continues to my next point..

2. Inequality of fate
The outcomes in their life will be different based on their efforts, God's will, and many other things. Praise Allah for what is received. Ask Allah for the best in dunya and akhirat. Work together to achieve the highest attainment.

These are the limits [set by] Allah , and whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger will be admitted by Him to gardens [in Paradise] under which rivers flow, abiding eternally therein; and that is the great attainment.
4. Surat An-Nisa (The Women; 13)

Money Lessons for Children

It's been around a year since I've given my children an allowance of $10/month and they've saved up a lot. But, they wouldn't have been able to save as much if I had not given them simple rules of spending. Spend $20 after they've saved up $100. I'm planning to increase their income to give/contribute and grow/invest to enrich their experience with money.

I've had many conversations with them, and they have learnt to cherish their savings. So much that every time I joke if they should contribute for purchase of theme park tickets, they would choose to save for purchases they would like to buy. Toys. 

They are learning about opportunity costs from their monthly allowances. But the problem is, I want to take them to the theme park! Well... maybe I want it more than they do, but I'd like them to spend on experiences rather than toys that only give temporary satisfaction rather than memories. (memories they might forget at their age of 8 and 5)

I'd like them to contribute to the family. Eating out and entertainment costs money. Maybe they didn't ask for it, but they should chip in. The outcomes I hope to have through their lessons in contribution is a feeling of responsibility. I hope when my kids grow up, and they borrow money from me or whomever, I want them to have the integrity to return the money owed. It's a 20 years lesson that I need to keep building on.

Lastly, besides saving and spending, I'd like them to consistently give and grow their wealth.

And establish prayer and give zakah, and whatever good you put forward for yourselves - you will find it with Allah. Indeed, Allah of what you do, is Seeing.

2.Surat Al-Baqarah (the cow; 110)

The example of those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah is like a seed [of grain] which grows seven spikes; in each spike is a hundred grains. And Allah multiplies [His reward] for whom He wills. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.

2.Surat Al-Baqarah (the cow; 261) 

Higher Learning and Higher Earnings

What I learned so far in my life is that how well you do during your bachelors matter a lot on getting that first stepping stone. But what's also important is no matter what job you have, making the right financial decisions and having the discipline to save and invest is the stepping stone to a better financial life.

I was made aware of the Social Mobility Index from my university's Facebook page. It's an index that ranks university based on tuition, economic backgrounds, graduation rate, early career salary, and endowment. When it comes to making the correct financial decisions, we'd have to group ourselves to the university that we can afford. Once stepping out of the financial bounds is when we make the first mistake. The second decision is making sure we study for a profession that we want to be in, and consider the earnings made in comparison to the tuition paid. In other words, calculate your return on investment in getting that degree.

I made none of those considerations in the past, but I'm going to make sure my kids give it some thought.

Money Pet Peeves

I have a money pet peeve! I was quite surprised that I was able to catch myself in the act. It started with my wife casually and innocently bringing up that she wants us to spend $200+ dollars to fix/replace the car bumper. A simple discussion quickly turned into a light argument because I became irritated, especially when the reason and justification to spend the money is only for the car to look more pleasing on the eyes. I hold belief that any money spent should have a useful purpose. Spending $200 on a night out and fun experience as a family would be much better than a new bumper.

I realize it's difficult to calmly talk about money, because there may be certain things that you don't see eye-to-eye. It's better to get those out through open communication, and it's a situation where someone has to compromise for the greater good. Do you have money pet peeves?

The Rat Race

Happiness, Exit To Your Right...

In the past three years, I've been working in 4 different places, climbing the social ladder. One job after another was more "respectable" than the previous one, paying more. There's a price that I've been paying. My happiness. I have been miserable and it's about to pop like a nuclear pimple.

When I first jumped in the corporate world, I took a personality test. It reported that I was unambitious. It's probably true, I do not really care about climbing up the corporate ladder, working hard for the things I have little or no ambitions for.

I handed my resignation from my respectable job and will be needing a source of income. I'm calm but a little clouded in my head, so everyone else around me is panicking, my parents and wife. I have a plan, but some plans succeed, some fail. I put my trust where trust is best handed to.

Maybe readers of this blog experienced something similar?

So by mercy from Allah , [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah . Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].

3. Surat 'Āli `Imrān (Family of Imran); 159

Let's Talk Money

Anything For Money

 Money, good or bad, moves people. When I was young, I did not want to spend my time studying. But when there's money involved, boy did I work hard to push my grades up to Bs and As. One thing for sure though, it's a rather unsustainable motivator. It didn't build any positive habits in the process (for me at least) and a burden for parents to pay up.

 It's a relationship that I don't want to build with my kids, though my wife had promised my daughter a toy of her choice if she can read the Quran and she's almost there. I haven't offered my daughter, seven years old, anything in return for any achievement.  I want her to discover her emotions of being proud of herself and any other positive outcomes from her experiences.

 The relationship that I do want to build on, and what I think every Muslims should, is to talk about money rather bluntly with their kids depending on their level of understanding. A survey done by Visa found that families in Brazil and Mexico (38 and 42 days respectively) spends most time talking about money, Asians are best savers, young people aren't learning about money but Brazilians get an early start at the age of nine. These are very key things that as a parent should do, talk and teach about money and how to save.

“God commands you as regards your children’s (inheritance): to the male, a portion equal to that of two females; if (there are) only daughters, two or more, their share is two-thirds of the inheritance; if only one, her share is a half.  For parents, a sixth share of inheritance to each if the deceased left children; if no children, and the parents are the (only) heirs, the mother has a third; if the deceased left brothers (or sisters), the mother has a sixth.  (The distribution in all cases is) after the payment of legacies he may have bequeathed or debts.  You know not which of them, whether your parents or your children, are nearest to you in benefit; (these fixed shares) are ordained by God.  And God is Ever All-Knower, All-Wise.” 4. Surat An-Nisa (Women; 11)

 The ayat focuses mainly on the distribution of wealth. But underneath, I think highlights an importance in communication of wealth. Most people will find it appalling, offensive or taboo to talk about distribution of wealth after death while still alive, but I think it's a must. Especially since debt can be passed down. Money becomes a family affair. If you choose to take on debt, know that your family might take on it as well if you die in debt.

And, DEBT!